Jun 16, 2011
Life is hard.
I guess I never got used to it. It seems just a little harder now, when I look at him and his eyes are darkened from stress, from working, from pushing, constantly pushing. I feel like I brought it to his world – had he married someone else, someone younger, someone luckier, someone richer…he wouldn’t be so tired. I know he loves me though, why, I don’t really understand, but I know he does. And I know he’d rather be tired with me than anywhere else. How lucky am I.Today is period day, after 2 days of wondering if it was really coming or not…waiting in frustration after a pregnancy test, knowing it WOULD come, but toys with us still, nonetheless. Tomorrow I’ll go for blood tests to bring with us to Serbia. What a juggle even THAT has been…
I guess I never got used to it. It seems just a little harder now, when I look at him and his eyes are darkened from stress, from working, from pushing, constantly pushing. I feel like I brought it to his world – had he married someone else, someone younger, someone luckier, someone richer…he wouldn’t be so tired. I know he loves me though, why, I don’t really understand, but I know he does. And I know he’d rather be tired with me than anywhere else. How lucky am I.Today is period day, after 2 days of wondering if it was really coming or not…waiting in frustration after a pregnancy test, knowing it WOULD come, but toys with us still, nonetheless. Tomorrow I’ll go for blood tests to bring with us to Serbia. What a juggle even THAT has been…