I don’t know how we’re doing it, really. Mostly we’re okay and not insane over it all, but we both have our moments – naturally I more than he. We are focusing on work, mostly because we have to – there are clients waiting in line as far as the eye can see, and we don’t have the ‘luxury’ of moping around and drowning in our anxieties. Most of the time. Sometimes it just pops its head out regardless of our situation.
As odd as it is to say, because I always think we are as close as possible, I think we’ve grown even closer over the last month or so. I’m not sure what gets him loving me more and more, but I feel so lucky – I realize how much he wants this, and that he’s willing to sacrifice it if it’s not something WE can do…it’s sort of beyond me. I stopped trying to understand it, and I just appreciate it.
His mom has been great, and I am getting to know her better. I think a lot of my misgivings about her were because of the language barrier. It seems every time we come, I’m learning more stuff just a bit faster than before.
As I sit here at 5am – our inner clocks have been on Illinois time since we got here – I feel a pinch and a poke around my left ovary. I am so focused on what’s happening that I think I could probably feel the blood running through my veins if I listened for it. I guess I’m anxious to get the show on the road and find out what’s going to be, one way or another.
I sure miss my mom.