She took me down to the same room where they do the aspirations, and I hopped up on the table. Nervous, but for no good reason, really, other than this being the *IT* we have been waiting for, for so long.
She explained everything she was doing, and said I needed to try to relax as much as possible, which I did. She washed me outside, washed me inside – I guess it was just hot water (and it was hot!), and put in the speculum. She showed me the screen where I could see a picture of the embryos. They looked like little flowers – how could I fall in love with blobs of cells? I don’t know, but I did. She said she was inserting the catheter. I barely felt anything. Next thing she said was okay, it’s done. I didn’t really feel it except that I could tell something was going on there. She took out everything and said she’d now do a sonogram so she could see the location. She did so and I was able to see the precious blob inside my uterus. I wish I had that picture too.
I was like, okay what do I do now, get up? And yes, I got up, and walked to the elevator and rode up and laid in bed for about an hour and a half. I felt something pour out once or twice, probably remnants of the water she used to clean me.
I laid in bed, alone this time, and called Gordon to tell him it was done, and that We were okay 🙂 The whole process was so precious, even though you’d think it would be clouded by medical tools and big words. Underneath it all, we knew we conceived little lives together, and they were going to get the chance to come into this world…. and like I told Gordon the night before, even if they don’t get the chance to come into this world, and even if we don’t get the chance to meet them now, they exist, and they will always exist, and we will meet them someday. Parts of us as one.
When I came down we waited to be processed (pay) – mostly I wanted a copy of my embryo pictures, so I was patient. I leaned back in the chair while we waited. The nurse called us in, and I looked right at their credit card machine that I’m pretty sure said ‘slide card’. I don’t know why they didn’t want to slide ours. In any case, she ordered 3 days of bed rest, then I could sit 2 days and then light walking. I wasn’t prepared for all that resting, but whatever needed to be was okay with me.