This weekend I’m probably going to spend working on this big project we’ve been working on. I really want to get as much done as possible before we start going through the IVF. I don’t know what my mental state is going to be, and I’d rather have as little stress as possible. Maybe, though, it’s more stressful now than it will be later!I got an invitation to my niece’s wedding. She never responded to my facebook message after I got the announcement. She learned well from my sister, I guess. I don’t hear from her either – haven’t since my mom died. Some big sister. Anyway, the thought occurred to me that it might be good to go, because it’s very likely it’s the last time I’ll see my brothers and sisters…like, ever. With mom gone now, there’s really no reason for us to get together except for weddings, and the single niece/nephew pool is running low. I don’t know why I even consider it – nobody even bothers with me, so why would I go through the trouble to go see them? I’m an idiot sometimes, I think. I still crave that sense of family, I guess – but I know I will never get it from my biological family…just can’t stand the feeling of aloneness that comes over me sometimes.