1 month before IVF : 5 Feeling Lost

Posted by Rose in Infertility, My Personal Journey on 08-02-2013

Jun 18, 2011
And so, it’s Saturday afternoon, and I feel sort of at a loss for what to do with myself.  Sure there’s work – including more interview invitations than I have fingers and ‘foot fingers’ combined. Then there’s housework, yard work, paperwork – just that they all end in ‘work’. I feel like I need a mental health day, to just do nothing…but I don’t know how to do nothing.I’ve been thinking that I need to mentally prepare for this trip somehow, to ready my emotions and my emotional threshold for whatever might come – blaming the lack of time for not having accomplished it yet. Today I have time, and am facing the fact that there really is no way to prepare.

I keep wondering if there will ever be anyone reading these synopses of my small world that wasn’t around when these things took place.

Yesterday I took a trip to the doctor to get some blood drawn for my cycle day 2 hormones and thyroid. They ended up taking 7 or more vials. I felt pretty okay, though. I guess I had some left! This coming week we have dentist appointments and I have to go back to the ob/gyn to have the cervical swab redone that they messed up. Joy. Im getting kind of tired of baring my wares (and getting them poked and prodded, to boot).

Tomorrow I think I’ll mow the yard.

I weighed today, and I’m still cracking the scales at 213. I guess it’s better than 214. Can’t complain too much because I haven’t been zumba-ing for the last week. I’m eating knoxx gelatin in my yogurt for my crackly knees. Hopefully it’ll help.

Wish I could turn off my brain. Maybe it would be more restful to work.

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